BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER (BPD).

Omo! Few days ago, I saw a tweet of a particular handle saying there were days she will just wake up in the morning and decided not to talk, call, chat or even relate to any of her friends and family members for days.

Did they offend you? No….. Did you see them in your dream chasing you with cutlass? No

So, why are you avoiding them and refusing to talk to them? She said doesn’t know why. She just woke up some days and have this intense vexation and pissed at everyone and everything around her disgust her. ……Wahala…. At first, I thought this is pure Ogbanje oh. Until, the same thing happened to someone I know. Omo! I decided to ask questions and I got to know about Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. A condition that affects the way a person processes everyday emotions and reactions. This includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions, behaviors, and a pattern of unstable relationships either romantic ones or platonic ones.

The latent truth is, people with BPD are often impulsive and emotionally unstable. They may have intense episodes of anger, anxiety, mood swings and depression. These episodes can last several hours or days which negatively affect the person’s work, relationships, or physical health. Some people with BPD are prone to self-injury, accidents, and fights. Suicide is also more common among people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

Another way to understand how a person with BPD experiences life is to realize they have a more difficult time returning to an emotional baseline. When something exciting or positive happens, they may experience greater joy for longer period of time. But when the opposite happens; Get ready as they may have trouble bouncing back.

This particular condition has really crippled many relationships today (both romantic and platonic ones). And many of us don’t even know this yet as some of us usually use that nonsense catch phrase ‘That’s how I’m wired’…..Brothers and sisters, that’s not how God created you or wired us….Goan to a professional/therapist!

Because of the scope of this article, I will be dropping some hints on how to likely recognize someone with the BPD:

1. Chronic feelings of Emptiness: Whenever you keep hearing him/her/them say ‘I often feel empty’…. It’s about to bang! Take them to see a professional/therapist. The reality is that, people with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At that point or period of their lives, they feel they’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable and frustrating, so most of them try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying. Like I earlier mentioned, take them to see a professional/therapist.

2. Extreme Emotional Swings: Most times you see or hear them say things like ‘My emotions shift very quickly, and I often experience extreme sadness, anger, and anxiety’. One moment, they feel happy, and the next minute or hour, they feel so dejected and hopeless. Little things that other people brush off can send them into an emotional deep dive. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly. And this has been one of the major killers of most relationships today (Either romantic or platonic ones).

3. Fear of abandonment: People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as harmless as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. These usually prompt desperate efforts to keep the other person close. One of the few characters about people with BPD is that they can be extremely clingy, track their loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

4. Explosive Anger: They usually struggle with intense anger and a short temper. They may also have trouble controlling themselves once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. They may spend a lot of time feeling angry at themselves.

5. Feeling Suspicious or Out of Touch with Reality: People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress or pressure, they may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. They may also feel foggy, spaced out, or as if they’re outside of their own body.

The truth is, People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. They usually fall in love quickly, believing that each new person they come in contact with is THE ONE—the one that will make them feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed because things didn’t turn out to be as they planned.

This is why many of us can’t manage or maintain a stable relationship nowadays. I will strongly advise that many of us visit a therapist from time to time as many people are not even aware of this mental illness. And with the way things are currently, people are going through a lot and it keep getting worse by the second. So, biko take good care of yourself.

Until next time…..God bless you abundantly for reading.